4 Indicators that you have to pay attention to.

An indicator that shows that, in reality, the relationship is really in a bad way so that you can take stock of your relationship and put in place the necessary actions to remedy it.

The first thing is to understand that love is not. I don’t just have these books that the relationship works. It’s actually a bit more complex. In the room of work, of investment, of commitment and above all of a choice, and it’s a choice that is acted. So the difficulty is that in fact nobody taught us how to be a good couple. No one has taught us the skills we need to be, to be able to have a relationship that is fulfilling. His skills are quite varied and his skills are emotional skills, but also relational skills in the field of communication, in the field of knowing how to be, and also in the field of know-how. And so these are things that are not linked and that we need to develop and that we don’t have at school or in our family. Today, we’re going to talk about the five indicators that are really not working.

The first is the presence of one of the four, because I’m not calling it that, it’s John, a bit of American. The Caribbean is that there are 4 and they are really red flags, it is the contempt especially it is strong and in fact in the years really degradation in the multiples. Of time me unblock your spouse cetera.

The 2nd is to be constantly on the defensive and the list is flight. So these 4 attitudes of a couple, it’s called the apocalypse because when they are in the relationship, it’s according to John Hoffman, an indicator that the rupture will intervene in more than 90%, strengths are based on clinical studies, however it’s not a fatality is that it can be. But it’s going to come from a choice that it’s more generally a learning process. The second indicator that there is no longer any love in your couple is when you take the other for granted, that is to say that you are no longer really aware of the presence of the other. We don’t see them as part of the furniture, we’re in a sort of thing where we see each other, we put up with each other, we tolerate each other, we pass each other by, but in fact we’re no longer in something of an embodiment of something. Are we in the 3rd indicator? No, I don’t respect each other and often we don’t respect each other, either because one doesn’t go without respect for the other. It doesn’t go without self-respect. So what happens? You don’t respect your partner’s time, you arrive late, you don’t come back, you don’t agree on precise times, you play with words, and so on. You don’t respect yourself, especially with the next crisis, you don’t respect the particularities, the differences of your partner because you don’t arrive anymore.

3rd, nothing goes well in your couple, you no longer take the time to listen to each other, you no longer take the time to really be there, in a listening presence and commitment, in listening, life or you don’t know, it’s listening to that. It’s something very, very obvious that I see a lot with the couple that I accompany, that in reality, we don’t know. That means. Look, we don’t even know what it is to listen to ourselves. So there’s really a lot of work to do to be able to be in the relationship and it’s something that is not the. It’s something that you have to learn and in the end, you have to be able to train yourself, to listen to the other person, to be able to open your person, to open your heart, your powers, and to know that there is a space that is possible. There is a space, there is room for the other. If we are always on the defensive. And open your mouth. I don’t have my own, so listening is simply being in the idea that in fact you want to know more about the other person, to get to know the 30 years that you had.

And the forth indicator that has more love in your couple is that you focus on those gentlemen, you are focused on those emotions, you are caught up in your emotions. We are completely closed and caught up in these mental stories, we are focused in reality on what is happening inside ourselves and we are not at all ready. We don’t want to go towards the other because we are in a relational game, we ignore it sometimes by retaliation, that is to say that we are in fact in a lack of self-love and we are in a lack of love of the other, so when you have a lot of syndicate hours or that it’s 5 indicators are present in your relationship it doesn’t mean that it’s too late it simply means that it’s time to act and it’s completely time to be accompanied you need to learn to do otherwise it’s completely possible.